Teens & Tweens
Teenage years can be HARD...
I spent the majority of my teen years feeling awkward, inadequate & lost. I didn't feel pretty enough, smart enough, popular enough, wise enough, funny enough, adventurous enough or attractive enough compared to my friends.
My skin was covered in acne, my hair was thick, wavy & uncontrollable (certainly not stylish!), I wore thick glasses & struggled to fit in. My sense of low confidence & low self-worth kept me from stepping outside my comfort zone, I preferred to fly under the radar & stay small.
Friendships in those early years were also confusing. A friend who I thought was a friend suddenly turned on me leaving me high and dry and embarrassed in front of everyone when she announced loudly on the school bus;
'Angela loves herself...
She thinks she's better than everyone else!'
Wait.. what!??? What on earth was she talking about.. Loving yourself was considered one of the worst things anyone could do.... why is she publicly humiliating me!??
Everyone laughed & snarled while I sat alone & waited for the ground to open up & swallow me. I stepped off the bus confused, embarrassed & lost. From then on I was determined not to show any love myself because I loving yourself = humiliation & public isolation!
It becomes a competition between you & your girlfriends.. who's the ugliest, heaviest and dumbest in the group. Who can't get a boyfriend, can't get good grades and who has to go on a diet... Everyone raise your hands!
High school from years 7 to 10 were filled with so much anxiety and bullying it was a relief when I reached Year 11. Finally I was able to breathe again. The 2 girls who had bullied me throughout high school had finally left & I was able to relax for the first time, but not without the scars that remained.
I didn't apply for University just in case I failed...
I didn't play sport for fear of embarrassment,
I didn't talk to anyone who didn't talk to me first, to make sure I wasn't laughed at again,
I didn't stand up for myself because I didn't believe I was worthy enough,
I hated my glasses, because they reminded me I was different,
I didn't think any of the boys would find me attractive so I stayed invisible,
I kept myself hidden & out of harms way
I stayed in my comfort zone
I married the first man who told me he loved me,
I'd finally found someone to love me because
I didn't think I was allowed.
All of this kept me small, hidden & dying to be seen,
Did my dreams really matter?
Did my opinion really matter?
Was I really able to stand up for what I believed in?
Was I really able to start loving myself instead of loathing?
Could I step outside my comfort zone?
Could I really believe in myself?
Could I ask for what I want?
Could I say YES to new adventures
Could I say NO to things I no longer want in my life.
Was I really worthy?
Was I really enough?
Did I really deserve to be happy?
I found the answer within.. The answer that lies deep within, the only answer you ever need to know...
You are worthy, you are beautiful, strong, courageous, funny, smart, and you deserve to have all your dreams come true.
You have permission to 'Bloom Within', that's where the real beauty lies. That's where true love begins.
We aren't meant to live lives in confusion and fear, our true natural state is LOVE. Let's silence our 'Inner Mean Girl' and start listening to our 'Inner Love Girl'. She's the one that whispers you are enough, you are beautiful, special & have something to celebrate. She's the one we need to uncover, she's the one waiting to BLOOM.
Everything we encounter in our lives is either a lesson or a blessing and I believe when we stop learning we eventually stop growing.
We need challenges in our lives to push us out of our comfort zones, sometimes we need to fall apart so we can put ourselves back together with a stronger foundation.
Along my journey I've learnt many lessons and the biggest one is:
I am in charge of my own destiny, my own happiness and my own self-love.
My partner is not responsible for my happiness, my children cannot determine my level of happiness, my friends cannot fill up my cup of self-love. Only I can.
The reason I know this is because when my marriage fell apart, I fell apart too. I felt like my husband walked out the door with half of me and I was gutted.
I thought I was nothing without him and that is when I realised that I had looked to others my whole life for them to fill my self-esteem, my self-confidence and I had absolutely no idea who I really was.
I had no idea who I was if I was not a Mother or a Wife. I'd never been shown or encouraged to invest time into myself, to find out what my heart truly desires in the depth of it's core.
I had happily let someone else make all the decisions and when that person was no longer around, and my children were visiting their father, I had a real sadness of feeling alone and I didn’t even know who I was alone with. I had completely lost my compass and who I was and none of this was my ex-husbands fault, it sat squarely on my shoulders.
What I've learnt over the last 5 years coaching other women and facilitating workshops is:
When you peel back the layers & ask 'what's stopping you living the life you really want?'
Its almost ALWAYS because you don’t think you are worthy enough to have it.
Society can tell you, you are not worthy of investing time into yourself, not worthy of having the career you want, the lifestyle you want, or the happiness you yearn for. Why would do you want to be so selfish?
As women sometimes we spend so much time put others first, we forget about ourselves and what our hearts truly desire. The irony is we then pass this tradition down to our beautiful daughters who happily keep the cycle going! Sound familiar?
My passion is to empower Women & Teen girls with the knowledge to fill up your own cup of self-love, ignite your wildest dreams and create an overflow of kindness, gratitude, happiness, passion & purpose to pass on and share with your beloved family and friends.
This is your year to shine. This is your year to give yourself permission to Bloom Within.
“A flower doesn’t compare itself to other
flowers, it just Blooms"
Certified Life Coach
Inspired Spirit Coaching Academy
Certified Youth Mentor
Shine from Within Youth Mentor Training
Certified Wisdom Coach
Adventures in Wisdom Life Coaching for Kids
Mental Health First Aid Certificate
Albury Regional Tafe NSW
Level 1 & 2 Leadership Training
Rites of Passage Institute